. But he lets M. dance with who ever when we go out J. so he doesn't have to get out on the floor. #2 The desperado. agreywood 7 yr. ago Am I nuts? I go to a bar every once in a while, for a drink , by myself. As soon as he is off the phone he jumps up and yells lets party. I trust him, too. My boyfriend wants to go clubbing alone My boyfriend of one year who is long distance at the moment thinks it would be totally fine for him to go to a club by himself. If after talking about it you still object to him going to strip clubs, that's okay! See how he likes it. I am sorry, it is hard to deal with, i know. My husband knows how I am with and with out ( I act the same way no matter what) him and he has no problem with it. As I mentioned above, he may just need some time to himself. I really prefer dinning room tables and strong coffee though. Not very often. A lot. I've seen a lot of posts on here recently about whether its ok for a married or committed person to go to lunch/bar with single person of the opposite sex (or same gender depending on preference) and it had M. wondering if you guys/girls ever go to a bar or an establishment where other singles are and talk to new people? Yes, if you've provided all the details. We don't forbid each other from seeing anyone. Having a "Guys" night. When youre in a relationship you dont just change the rules. They are in a long distance relationship and that's not about sitting at home, missing and texting each other 24/7, gosh. Covering Phoenix, Mesa, Glendale, Scottsdale, Gilbert, the valley . Life doesnt begin at 30, dont let anyone tell you different, I feel hurt and embarassed bec he doesnt reply to my text. I talked to him about it and tried compromising but it just didnt work. I'm personally not attracted to women. You know the one that is filled with mostly guys, laid back and where everyone knows everyone and if you don't you will by the time you walk out and people cheer when you walk in the door? Started January 19, By My hubs knows M. well enough not to be threatened. Of course, you dont need to know where the other person is or what he/she is doing ALL OF THEE TIME, but just letting me know once in a while is harmless. I never liked this part of a relationship. He aint changing especially if you arent there. Waiting outside the bar for your friends is also weird. But my husband trusts M.. Now I don't know how he would feel or a possible future boyfriend would feel. I let my college girlfriend go out with the girls. Every hour of his free time doesn't have to be dedicated to you. That's why I wouldn't go out to a bar without my SO. Once again, if that behavior changes, you may want to reconsider your approval of this behavior. My husband likes to have a beer or two so he does go to the local dive bars with the guys after work. if your bf is okay with it then there's no problem. "Whereas happy, committed couples tend to spend more time with couple friends and doing things together. My friends and I have often discussed how we don't "get it" that supposedly most women like women. So she keeps sending snapchats.. but wont text/call me. if your partner does these six activities without you. Also, you've officially met a women who has no attraction whatsoever to other women!! But when it seems to be an all night thing and it's an always and never, those are telling signs that something isn't normal. Ahhhh, the Casino has a hold on him. Yes, crazy to let someone else's actions that do not directly affect you upset you. The problem is every time he's with his friends, he forgets about me completely and he doesn't want other to know that he is into a long distance relationship. He goes with a buddy of his. He would not even go somewhere like that without M. J. cause that's who he is. I tried to make friends with the girls, but it didnt help because when he made a comment about how good she looked in the thong, it showed no regard for me. I don't look down upon or judge others for hanging out with those of the opposite sex. I always get the excuse of the phone dying or it fell but yet I can see he is online on Facebook etc it's always the weekend that his battery has died when he's out I don't blame you for stressing I have this situation every weekend it's at the point where I've had enough. Let's face it - we all know bars can be totally unconducive places for relationships. I'm 36 and he is 40, with two young kids who are adorable. Tech Organizer. We don't go to meet new people--we go to have girl time. he always blames it on being wasted and passing out. No, I could care less. The answer isn't to NOT go to the bar or NOT get on FB. While this can be a helpful resource for some, others are using these platforms to self-diagnose and potentially harm their mental health. Wouldn't dream of it. Yes I go out with out my husband.. if Im talking to anyone and they try to pick M. up using thier cheesy lines I let them know right away Im married. I do the same thing for a girls night out. It's really important to M. that I have connected, powerful, deep friendships. my boyfriend goes out all night and doesnt call or text me at all..we are in a long distance relationship and the next day he gives me excuses like i was "too drunk" and passed out. But when it seems like there's a sharp increase in time apart, that's not a good sign for your relationship.". Even though I know he wouldn't just the thought of my boyfriend getting drunk worries me that he will make a bad decision. We asked if we could use the gift certificate right then for lunch and still get the $5 off coupon. If everyone is happy and fully informed, then well done and furthermore none of my business. What does it mean when a man call & text you several times every day eventh My Boyfriend doesn't like if I call him from his name. You spent the formative part of your relationship being someone you really are not by going to the bars with him often.leading. J. my personal opinionto each his own. If I should meet another man, I see no reason not to remain friends with this man. Women shouldn't have to act like Jason Bourne going to crazy lengths to avoid attention just to have a drink and listen to a band without harassment. 1. my boyfriend and i are long distance and i'm in college. But, that's not the point of your post so I digress. he possibly has a minor drinking problem We know where the lines are where each of us are comfortable with and neither one of us has ever crossed it. And if I'm going for a walk, to the grocery store, the gym, or out with my best friend, I make sure he knows where I'm going, when I'm going, and when I'm on my way home. I do what I CHOOSE to do. I have been there a few times for lunch alone to do some of my paperwork and did not want to have to cook or clean up at home. So try not to take it personally and give him the space he needs. .. I have lots of friends, male and female - and I like people, male and female. Luckily for us both, neither of us are the 'bar/club going on a regular basis' kind of people. So back to your question. Maybe you happen to have a lot of bi-sexual friends. After a couple months of dating I learned her guy friend was gay. What works in one marriage or relationship doesn't have to be the "answer" for another. And my husband does not have a problem with it. First of all, guys NEED this time to well, do what guys do. After extensive research, he discovered he could create dramatic changes to his health simply focusing on 3 things that sabotage our body as we age. He asked it so much I feel he was thinking I was lying to him. As far as I know he doesn't hug other women, pick them up or flirt with themif he did I would have a problem with that, because it's not the type of guy I'd want to be married to. :). Well, people who babysit seem to be scarce where we live so yes we go out to bars with friends and not each other. Like, the power play becomes important when it comes to understanding the experience. I think as long as a couple is totally happy and equal that's all that matters. in the situation you describe it doesn't sound like your relationship with your bf is that serious, you're not married and you don't call him a fiance. If you try to control things he will be running for the hills. IMO, this is one of those make or break moments of a relationship. We J. like to know where the other one is, more for safety than out of paranoia or concerns of cheating. So no I wouldn't do that, but I would have an opposite sex friend even in a committed relationship if it was okay with all parties involved. Enjoy those evenings when he is out and look forward to the next time you see him. Now if he went to a place like that by himself I woudl worry something was up for 2 reasons. Looking for advice on handling a disappointing visit, She broke up with me because of my gambling, France to the US - long distance problems. Just stop expecting him to be your boyfriend. Would you or should I be bothered by the fact that she seems to want to go there without me? We've agreed to be monogamous not by default but because it feels right for us. If her spouse or at least one co-worker were there, then no problem, but not one on one (unintentional pun). He sounds like a really sweet guy and even likes to text you while he is out. He was drunk and he is supposed to go to work in the morning. But it is a sign he isn't that serious about you, and no, its not because he is too drunk or passed out. evenworse I don't understand how people have a problem with hanging out and not to flame here, at least to M., it screams insecurity. Emotional or physical affairs are not okay in my book. Not just change the rule without saying something and then she can choose to keep playing or quit. Well, honestly, he only goes once every week-2 weeks. If your boyfriend suggests that your jealousy is irrational, ask him how he might feel if he were in your shoes. 1. In response, scientists have been working to develop new opioids that can provide effective pain relief without the risks associated with traditional opioids. They threaten to break up with you all the time. Its not ****ing baseball. They might give M. a hug, but that's where it ends. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. I have more guy friennds than girlfriends. Help should I stay with him or not and it has been four long years that we have been together. Ya know, and I think this is important, if someone I hung out with gave Troy a bad vibe I would not question his vibe, I would stop hanging out with that person. We trust each other. He had work but still a simple text would've done. Our relationship will never be more than friends. I like how you worded it. But when I'm home, I'm usually out with himbecause I miss him! Nice. He better go alone, because I won't be wasting my time in a place like that. We don't even spend that time out drinking. It is all because of my trust issue. Im in a long distance relationship myself, like we're in two different continents, it kind of ***** but its cool at the same time! I see nothing wrong with your scenarioI J. wouldn't venture into a bar alone. 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